Sunday, April 29, 2012

Get Transparent!

Since Pinterest has been on the rise in the domestic, homemaker arena of social media I have also noticed an upswing of "I-can't-do-it-all-make-the-madness-stop" syndrome. This epidemic is sweeping through modern suburbia at an alarming rate and we may need to start a foundation for it. Or at least hold a bake sale with elaboratly decorated petit fours and fondant icing layer cakes.
This is one of those pins on Pinterest that makes me say outloud- COME ON! Any invitation or note that starts with blowing out an egg is never gonna happen in this household. So inbetween invites I guess you have to also look for a Pin/recipe for fabulous omlettes to make with the leftovers? (If you want to do this, you have to also be able to read Spanish, because this was the blog this references back to:  )
If this is your forte, then I am in awe of you! Rock on!
What is it in our society that makes Moms constantly feel in competition while also feeling like we are completely lacking? And maybe it's not even competition with eachother, but competition with ourselves to prove some sort of notion that we can have it all, do it all, organize it all, breastfeed everyone (for a minimum of 12 months!), make every cute craft, use only natural, organic cleaners to clean it all, and still throw on a pair of pearls and have a hot, delicious, nutritious and under-budget dinner on the table when our husbands get home, which is really just a prelude to a wild and fabulous evening in the bedroom (complete with Victoria's Secret lingerie and candles) before we rest our heads on our cleaned, ironed, lavender-scented, 1000-count Egyptian cotton pillow cases so that we can do it all again (and maybe more!) the next day. And the day after.

Ladies. This is not real. This doesn't happen in anyone's home. And everyone needs to stop prentending like it can happen. And it didn't start in the social media age. For our moms is was Martha Stewart-syndrome and for their moms it was Harriet Nelson-syndrome. And that's where my cultural knowledge fizzles out, but I'm sure there was another icon even prior to Donna Reed that made women feel like they had to step up their game.

I've been struggling with these thoughts and feelings all week long. I, myself am guilty of only posting photos of the fun, creative, look-at-what-I-did photos. Lately I've felt as if I haven't been totally transparent about my life. I do want to encourage other moms to do fun and creative things with their families. Have their own Wacky Wednesday, or fun dinnertime ritual. I really do believe these things are important to family identity, but I don't want you all to thik that these things happen on a daily basis in my house! That's 1 meal a week that I plan, strategize, shop for and prepare. And it's super fun and the kids love it and it's worth every minute of prep work. But y'all should see my kitchen where those dinners are over. That's the photo that never gets around to being posted.

So here's last night. We had a fun, Silly Saturday dinner instead of Wacky Wednesday (this momma worked on Wednesday). It was my sister-in-laws suggestion to do a Colors theme and have brightly colored food. I planned and prepped, but then once dinner prep time came around we had 5 kids in the house and they couldn't even go in the backyard because my husband was building a deck (which I am grateful for, sweetheart. Not discounting that blessing!) It was pretty chaotic. But still the fun, throw your hands up in the air and laugh kind of chaos. Had my sister-in-law not been there to help with the kids we would have broken down and ordered pizza. And in retrospect we probably should have done that anyways!
Silly Saturday Colors dinner

Silly Saturday aftermath (hubby took over here- praise the Lord!)
So I went to church today and was totally convicted by the message. We have been doing a Love Is series on Corinthians and today our Pastor talked about what love isn't. Specifically, love isn't jealous or boastful or proud or rude (1 Corinthians 13:4). And I felt convicted that maybe I post things out of being boastful instead of encouraging others to acts of good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24) But the message went on to talk about how each one of us are an original and that we shouldn't  compare ourselves with eachother (Galatians 5:25). So I may have certain strengths when it comes to preparing a meal, but the very thought of organizing my closet, or my desk, or my cabinets, or my kids toys makes me break out into a cold sweat. We all have different strengths and we should celebrate these strengths (Romans 12:6-8) and we should encourage one another through our weaknesses. And if that means being more transparent in all aspects of my life- include this one online, them that's what I'm going to do. 


Who's in?


  1. the message today was amazing, I am in and saying the same thing! "be more real. stop comparing, get transparent." yes please!! :)

  2. Love this. You hit a nerve, sweet friend. I'm constantly being reminded I can't do it all...not that I ever really thought I could. If I do manage to complete a Pinterest found craft, I look up and the kids are sorely bummed I've been distracted, there's a huge mess and no dinner.
    And, we're not serving elaborately decorated petit fours and fondant icing layer cakes at our for real bake sale next weekend, right?!?! ;)

    1. No way! I can't wait to see what crazy cupcakes Lily churns out. It will make then all the yummier!

  3. I almost (but refrained because I didn't want to wake up anyone, including the dog next to me) and shout "AMEN". i love this and will be more transparent in my postings :) By the way, went to a play date last week and a momma forget her sons shoes... she was embarrassed, but I told her that was real life!!

    1. Sounds like something I would do! Ha! Real life isn't always pretty!

  4. Amen! Love this Stacie! You're an incredible writer and photographer!!

  5. i'm not a momma yet, but i'm right there with you. being real, well, it's the only way. :)